indecision

Saturday, April 30, 2016

am i me?


One day I'm wandering along
A path dropping away
By a river
I imagined life lived next to it
Escaped
Free
Challenged
Then I see it, real, believed, necessary
The next day I un-box a new tv
Using money for material
Needless pleasure
Electronic joy
Unchallenged
Safe

Who am I really

Sunday, April 3, 2016

to feel is to understand

circular motion allows me the deep insight

i watched my mind

found strength behind forms

having now
wanting be


i imagine the next life is evermore passionate
as this one can make me feel ecstatic

Thursday, March 24, 2016

behind the veneer

i apologise for mistakes i make
my haste and sense lose time and belief
i drop from space
allowing only thoughts and touch
mechanic motions that are not present

my being is whole without my mind present

i lose the moment around me
and sometimes it saddens me

i grasp
try to breathe it in

get lost and cycle within

without me i am not myself
so?
to my loss?

to yours?


so i hide

Friday, February 5, 2016

amassed above

dropped among lose ends
i traipsed within time
encompassed by its whole
slipping only when forced

i do but assume an escape,
as i write said word

elongated to my own existence, belief
whole honest truths

not able to realise. that within stems my future

to be seen
as me

alone

rife

Saturday, January 23, 2016

am i right?

feeling depth understood only from learning
i escape into the void that is mind
perhaps memory
despairingly hope

seeing the hanging to wit i cling
i let go
understanding that alone i am
me
simple
not inhabited completely by needs influenced.

selfish perhaps
desiring wholeheartedly to find ease

safe in the emptiness of being, i sit.
still holding to love, lust, longing and hope

weakness abides

is it trust in my beliefs or human touch that i lack?

i don't want to speak, i have delved deep without knowing why
following the past read
only feeling that it is right

for now
as i
can only project who i am at face value
as i am not strong enough to be completely free

yet

to be me
as i wish, without vice
aloft of desire and need

i must pine

my love has changed.

Friday, November 27, 2015

waiting to be

for that moment
that place
the escape that is enabled

shamelessly me
enshrined in a smile

because of it

the music
the loop
the levity that i hold dearly as it is where i find my joy

dancing
alone
within
masked by the beat
lucid to the eternal

because i can be lost
within myself among the noise
my own being that reaches for a happiness that drapes time

to forget for me is to hold close

time

moment

visions of the joy passed and the future that lay ahead

only alive will i feel this passion

awakening
forgiving

i shall always be

Friday, September 4, 2015

and so it shall be

am i but only wanting to be anew
being simply an imprisoned image of my limited vision
acting becoming
while only showing a small sense of self

a part
withheld within my own scope

not disappointed
afraid of the reach
or hopeful of a rise

but

journeying

awakening and discovering

Could what feels slowly be but just a matter of fact of time?

perhaps i am aloft
empty and void of needless hoping

as i dont need its will
its talon

as i am me