indecision

Saturday, June 4, 2016

and far

startlingly real pain that washes over and over

wanting only to be enshrined, engulfed

by sensation by thought

a construct of delusion and joy
realities that may not exist past the confines

of skin
heart

you want only to believe in that moment
with only the pleasures existent because of you

unknowingly forced to stop and see
go outside the walls

seeking but unable to hold onto
depth, the warmth

freedom

to have the cotton wool pulled upon you

when i cant make it play it hurts
where has the mind gone

like love is palpable
the only shifts and changes are your repetitive strokes
you dont know how to be fulfilled, back and forth

only new directions of sound highlight the space around
not alone but you are

so alone
 

Sunday, May 29, 2016

and so shall i

strengthening the mind with the knowledge of the past
their experiences
ways
and beliefs

challenging myself with worlds that feel so apparent
noticed closely within this time

being allowed makes me feel blessed
honored
and excited by prospect

of development
peace
and growth

i cant escape my wonder at how life can always be
at whom i am
and at what place i sit

in this vast system
evolving time

death, life and rebirth
nature abides


and stuns

Saturday, April 30, 2016

am i me?


One day I'm wandering along
A path dropping away
By a river
I imagined life lived next to it
Escaped
Free
Challenged
Then I see it, real, believed, necessary
The next day I un-box a new tv
Using money for material
Needless pleasure
Electronic joy
Unchallenged
Safe

Who am I really

Sunday, April 3, 2016

to feel is to understand

circular motion allows me the deep insight

i watched my mind

found strength behind forms

having now
wanting be


i imagine the next life is evermore passionate
as this one can make me feel ecstatic

Thursday, March 24, 2016

behind the veneer

i apologise for mistakes i make
my haste and sense lose time and belief
i drop from space
allowing only thoughts and touch
mechanic motions that are not present

my being is whole without my mind present

i lose the moment around me
and sometimes it saddens me

i grasp
try to breathe it in

get lost and cycle within

without me i am not myself
so?
to my loss?

to yours?


so i hide

Friday, February 5, 2016

amassed above

dropped among lose ends
i traipsed within time
encompassed by its whole
slipping only when forced

i do but assume an escape,
as i write said word

elongated to my own existence, belief
whole honest truths

not able to realise. that within stems my future

to be seen
as me

alone

rife

Saturday, January 23, 2016

am i right?

feeling depth understood only from learning
i escape into the void that is mind
perhaps memory
despairingly hope

seeing the hanging to wit i cling
i let go
understanding that alone i am
me
simple
not inhabited completely by needs influenced.

selfish perhaps
desiring wholeheartedly to find ease

safe in the emptiness of being, i sit.
still holding to love, lust, longing and hope

weakness abides

is it trust in my beliefs or human touch that i lack?

i don't want to speak, i have delved deep without knowing why
following the past read
only feeling that it is right

for now
as i
can only project who i am at face value
as i am not strong enough to be completely free

yet

to be me
as i wish, without vice
aloft of desire and need

i must pine

my love has changed.