in decision

i don't know how hard i should be, how hard, how spread my legs should be we lose happiness we lose peace to be what is perceived, only to be the same the shit the boredom the creation that is me the escapism that is you alone beyond the the grasp is a gentle peace that is the beach the waves leaves wind clouds blue shaped happiness feel me and know I'm lost from that which is forgive me be me play

a bounce that passes past you a hop that clears you my life that is not yours unable to give wholly to each smile that presents unable to share as i am selfish as we are all selfish as you don't want what is hard you don't want to see the light for all its emptiness you don't want to understand that the emptiness that is me is you freedom of life from you is all i seek hence freedom from my mind is all i need emptiness nothingness escaping the minutae it's the difficulty that excites me the difficulty that challenges me if it were not difficult, why bother?